Taking time for yourself

" A Woman's work is never done"- Unknown

This quote for me is ever true.  No matter what is going on I feel as if my work is never complete.  In between keeping my house clean, doing my 9-5 work, running Chi Fashionista and taking care of my children I find that the work load is never finished.  I have found that I HAVE to take time for myself or I get upset with my husband, frustrated with the dogs and non willing to work.  Thought this is a necessary thing it is not always an easy task .  I always find my self wanting to move on to the next task instead of relaxing or taking time for myself.  I have now decided each day no matter what is going on what tasks need to be completed I am going to take some time to myself.  It could be as simple as just to paint my toenails or to take a bubble bath and read a magazine. I am hoping this will improve my mental status and give me a sense of happiness. 

Dealing with Disappointment

Disappointment is one of the hardest things to deal with.  As this month's trying to get pregnant came and went with no success it is hard to deal with the projections of doing this month after month.  As if changing my eating habits, drinking habits, and not taking any medications was nothing short of a miracle I don't think I can do it again with this disappoint in the air.  It would be different if I knew this would be the month and then I can do this for 9 more months because I have a little one to think about but to do it and have no end result! It's just too much.  I'm going to take this next week off, try not to think about it and see where we end up. I just find it so awful that you are taught from the time you hit puberty that if you have sex you're going to get pregnant.  Now I want to be pregnant more than anything and I can't get pregnant.  It's quite frankly: ANNOYING.  Not to mention my facebook feed is FULL of babies.. People getting pregnant, people having babies, pictures of babies its enough to make someone sick more less some who wants the same thing! I love all my friends, and those with babies I love your children.  So please forgive me if I have some rude comment to say or fail to cheer those who are newly pregnant.  I am just envious.

Changes

Sorry for my lack of posting.. I have been experiencing alot of changes happening in my life lately phsyically, emotionally and just in general.  Let start with those most ovious.. I got new glasses. 

They were much more expensive then I thought they would be but of course my insurance didn't cover them at all but at least they are cute.  I was getting major headaches and they are less strong than my last set and should be helping.  Then I got my new phone. The amazing Droid X. 

 I absolutly love it and I can't find a single thing it cant do! It's like a mini computer in my pocket.  I just love it! It was my gift to myself for all my hard work over the summer.  A girls gotta get some treats :D

The next  fun and exciting change for me is my brand new awesome HAIRCUT! I've been wanted to get this style hair cut for so long I've had to wait and wait for the front of my hair to be long enough and now it finally is so I am super happy and loving the cut! I hope you all can agree... I think it looks wonderful!

Taken by Courtney Hall

I absolutely love these changes.. I am having a blast learning to style my new do.  Enjoying the new VEIW with my new glasses and playing with my new toy. So much fun!

Hanging out with the children

Some days our "kids" are just extremely cute.

Modeling our new Pet Supermarket Tanks

They just like the chill on the coach all cute and posed like this.  I think it is just adorable.

We were also lucky enough to receive a few other free items from our event at Pet Supermarket one of which I made for our newest addition Sally.  

She truly is a Daddy's Girl... 

We love playing dress up in our house.. Can't ya tell :) 

Chi Fashionista's Day at Pet Supermarket

Chi Fashionista was able to have a table at Pet Supermarket's Grand Reopening event.  The day was super hot but lots of fun.

Chi Fashionista's Table 

Chi Fashionista had a great time marketing to the local Wilmington market.  Chi Fashionista was even lucky enough to have a couple sells!! It was very exciting.

  Unfortunately Parker and Oliver (the models) were not being very nice while at Pet Supermarket and were barking so much that they scared the customers away.. So they had to go home early.  

Overall the day was very fun, successful and HOT! I thoroughly enjoyed supporting Adopt an Angel and excitingly they made their goal and the event raised over $500 for the very deserving organization!! 

Our Day with The Kaufmans

Our day with our family from South Africa was a blast! We were able to spend more time with them on Thursday than we were expecting and able to have some down time to just hang out and catch up.  But on Friday morning we went out to one of my favorite breakfast places I hop and had fun with the kids eating out and enjoy family time.  After I hop we had the opportunity to go to the Aquarium at Fort Fisher.

Taken By Lindsey Kaufman (michaelandlindseykaufman.blogspot.com) 

My favorite exhibit was the alligators You were at a big open window and the alligators could swim up to the glass and the only thing separating you from the alligators was the two inch glass.  I had a lot of fun getting to show Isabelle the alligators and showing her that although it looks like they are going to come attach you that the glass won't let them get to you.

  Another one of those cute things with Isabelle was the bubble.  The bubble is a thick glass that dips into one of the larger exhibits which allows you to feel as if you are in the water with the fish.  As Isabelle watched the little girl in front of us in the bubble she was worried she was gonna fall in and was very nervous when her turn came that she was going to fall in.

 Ethan's face light up with some of the smaller exhibits and was super cute! Zach enjoyed spending time with his nephew and pushed the stroller around all day.

It was so much fun to be able to spend time with our family.  I only wish that we would have had more time together.  Another one of the fun parts of seeing our nephew for the first time was getting a glimpse of what we suspect baby Mr. Saulter would look like since our nephew Ethan looks so much like Zach! 

Photo by Lindsey 

Isn't he so cute!! We sure are going to miss our niece and nephew but were so grateful for the time we had together.  

Today's the day

Today's the day we've been waiting for for over a year... We finally get to meet our nephew from South Africa!!! Zach's sister Lindsey and her family have been in the states visiting and fundraising for almost a month now and we have finally come to the day we've been anxiously awaiting.  The day they arrive in Wilmington.  They won't be getting here until late tonight but we are so excited to finally meet Ethan and spend some time with Isabelle.  With the internet we've been able to communicate with them but to actually see them and spend a day with them.. we haven't had that opportunity in over a year.. We can't wait to be able to hold Ethan and see how big Isabelle has gotten.  To be able and spend an entire day off work with family is exciting in itself!! We are hoping to take them to the Aquarium in Kure Beach and maybe just show them around Wilmington.  It is going to a fun time to be a tourist in Wilmington!  Watch Out I may start driving like one...

Exhausted

Lately I've been feeling extremely tired and drained... I couldn't figure out why until I stepped back from my life and realized how many things I have going on right now.. I am constantly thinking about trying to get pregnant.. Don't eat this or don't drink wine.  Cutting back on the caffeine is defiantly taking its toll.  Then I have to think about my life itself, caring for myself, making sure I'm getting the right nutrients, taking my vitamins, getting exersise not eating things I shouldn't be,  keeping up my home, making sure laundry gets done each week and theres food in the house, caring for our 5 four legged children making sure they go out regularly and get fed, keeping track of our families finances and making sure our bills get paid and Chi Fashionista.  I'm have been working very hard to get Chi Fashionista a strong support and following so that once baby Saulter arrives I will be able to stay home and work instead of leaving the baby with someone else.  Some days I feel like my work is never done..and really it never is! There is always something else I SHOULD be doing.. I just am feeling so overwhelmed and my mental space is running low.  I have no more space up there for To Dos or NOT TO DOs... I need a life jacket... I'm drowning in my life's obligations!!  Oh and did I mention I have a full time job??

Am I ready for this?

So now that Zach and I have officially decided we are ready to become a family of 3 I have been thinking more and more about the changes that will become when we have a child.  I've been around a lot of young children and I absolutely love being with them but I've always had the luxury of giving them back to their parents at the end of the day.  But once the child is mine I will no longer have that.. I will have to be the person to hire a sitter to have some free time!

Then to think of having to constantly be aware of what the child is doing and where you place things and how safe everything is will be a whole new problem... especially with our dogs! I became extremely aware of some of these problems yesterday when I was sitting for the two young boys Conner(1 yr) and Aiden (3yrs).  As I was getting Conner ready for bed he was upset by the changing process so I was distracting him with a bunny then I hear Aiden playing the bookshelf.. So I asked him not to pull all the books down but naturally thats what he does.. and I can't stop him because I'm changing Conner so I just let Aiden do his destruction so when I finish with Conner I started to clean up the books Aiden had pulled off the bookshelf when I noticed that Conner had left the room.  When I caught up with him he was playing in the toilet!! After I had just got him into clean pajamas! I was just so frustrated! I was so glad when it was finally time to put them to bed and I could stop worrying about what of each of them was getting into!  The worst part was I was only there for 4 hours one of which they were sleeping!!!!

I only hope we are as ready for this as we think we are! I know there will be so many changes we will have to make but I also know it will be worth it!

Social Life

Some weeks are filled with events and things to do and it seems that those weeks always fall on the days/weeks where I would just rather sit home and watch movies.  This week is one of those weeks.  We had game night on Monday, the Wilmington Apartment Association Social last night, I have a friends Birthday dinner tonight, a photoshoot for Chi Fashionista tomorrow and I am seriously hoping I can rest friday!! I know I should be taking full advantage of these events and spending as much time out and with my friends as possible since we are hoping to concieve soon.  I know that once we concieve and have our child our social lives will be basically non existant but I can't help but wish on weeks like this that I could just stay home in my PJs!

Everyday is Learning Process

Today I made one of those big adult moves and called someone with interest in getting a mortgage... and I was surprised at all the different factors that come in to play when you are getting a mortgage.  I mean you know about the obvious ones such as credit score, income, debits, etc.  But they also take into account the amount of time you've been employed with a certain company and how you are being taxed.  For example: Zach and I aren't capable of getting a mortgage loan because Zach is taxed as though he is self employed and has only been "self-employed" for one year and they require 2 years worth of tax records.  I would have never thought that would be the reason for us not to be able to get a mortgage.  But I did learn many interesting things such as the range of house we could  most likely get approved for which was higher than I was expecting as well as the possible payments we would pay with this range.  I found the whole phone call very informative! The guy I spoke with was very nice and helpful! I had been so worried about all the bad news this guy was going to have for me and how he would look at us so awful but he was so helpful and it was just the opposite of what I was expecting.  Just another reminder not to judge a book by it's cover!

Surgery/Recovery

The Surgery was a success as far as we can tell the mass was a blood cyst and was not cancer! HURRAY! And they were able to remove just the mass so both of my ovaries are still in tact. Also while they were inside me they discovered my fallopian tubes were doing something funny and they were able to move them to make it easier for me to get pregnant. All that being said.. I am now in full recovery... I even went back to work today. I am still in some pain but it is tolerable and I feel much better knowing the mass is removed, everything is going well inside my abdomen and that I am back to being a mostly healthy 23 year old!

With all that being said I am glad to being back to normal and Now I can resume my house hunt and planning for baby Saulter :D

Time for Updates...

I know it has been awhile since I blogged and really speaking not a whole lot has happened. Zach and I made it through our first year of Marriage. I am now employed full time as an Office Manager at Avalon Apartments. We still have our babies... with the exception of our male Kitty Mozart who passed away in December. We still live in our apartment in Wilmington and things are just the same. I have decided though that it is time to begin blogging again because Zach and I are working on a few changes in our lives and I find alot of days my mind filled with questions and no answers or direct people to ask... So I have decided to continue our blog as a way for me to get some of these things out there and seek advice from others.

Today is the day for my surgery. I am having a mass removed from my left ovary. They are uncertain about what the mass is or why it is there. Since the mass is rather large they may also be removing my left ovary. While I'm still under they plan to biopsy the mass to determine more about its make up. Depending on what they find during the biopsy they may have to cut me open (they plan to do the procedure laproscopcaily) if they do this I will be in recovery for over 30 days and out of work. We are really hoping everything is fine and the pre-testing and the doctors are pretty sure it will all be fine. But with this scare Zach and I have decided it is time to try and conceive a child as soon as recovery and things are over.

Zach and I are very excited about the possibilities of bringing in a new life into the world and are concerned at the same time. We are worried about the financial strain a baby will cause on our already struggling situation and we know we will have to make a lot of changes to our current life style. Not to mention that I won't be able to work for at least 3 months and I would prefer to stay home with our children for at least a year! I am currently working on getting Chi Fashionista to become a successful business so that we could hopefully bring in some income the supplement Zach's income. There are many things that go into the idea to bringing a baby into this world and many questions and changes to be made. Any advice for conceiving and adjusting to the idea of a child would be welcome.

Finding Fun in the Ordinary

Sometimes as husband and wife things can fall into a very hum drum in ways. Sometimes you just have to turn some of the most ordinary most normal things in your day and make them fun.

lessons learned from a one year old

If we as adults could learn from our children as much as they learn from us we would feel more fulfilled.

Lesson 1 never give up
Have you ever watched a child learning to walk? They will take a few steps and fall get up take a few more and fall and sometimes they fall so hard you are certain they are hurt and the just get right back up and yet again. We as adults give something a try if it doesn't work we quit. If we all tried to do new things in the same way a baby tries to walk there would be no failure.

Lesson 2 do what you want to do

Children at this age are quite defiant for their 20 lb selves and they will do what they want. If little baby want to walk around the living room for an hour straight they will despite how badly you want them to play the expensive educational toy you brought. As grown ups we tend to put other peoples wants befor our own and I think this applies even more so to the women out there. We are constandly doing things for our families but we often forget about our wants. Take some time to do things you truely want to do and you will feel less resentful when you do those other things for your family.


Lesson 3 go to sleep when you are tired

No one likes to be around the baby who is soo sleepy and so crabby and just don't want to go to sleep. You are the same way too but there no one making you go to sleep. Whatever you want to do can wait until you are rested and whatever it is will probally be done better when you are rested!! So go to sleep!

Lesson 4 would you feed that to your kid?

As adults we often do not consider the food we put in our mouths but when it comes to our children we are thinking fruits veggies maybe even organic! But think about this you body is the same as theirs just with a little more experience why should it not be given the same quality food as you child? Next time you go to put that vending machine lunch in your mouth think would I give this to my kid for their lunch? If the answer is no put it down!

Lesson 5 learn someting new everyday
Babies are constandly learning everthing they do teaches them something different. Even as they learn more they become More and more curious and want to learn more and more. But as adults we often feel as if we have learned all we can learn and even though we are given opportunities to learn more we do not take them because we have lost the desire to learn or seem to think we know everything. If we all used a childs curiousity to continue to learn throughout our adult lives we would feel more fulfilled and knowledgable about the world around us and give us all a little more fulfillment.

I encourage you today to learn a little from the children around you they have a lot to teach even as we tell them they have a lot to learn!

thoughts on college

When I was in high school I remember a friend who graduated and went off to colleg only to come back home six months later a totally different person! I used to say "college took the silly out of Jenny" I never thought that would happen to me! Now I look back to four years ago when I started college and realize college sucked the life out of me!!! It has been so long since I relaxed that now that I don't have to stress about things I am stressing because my body feels its forgetting something to stress and about and I stress about that! Now that college is over I am having to relearn how to socialize... Its even more difficult to even explain how to go about these things! I find now that Collee was just a total waste! I look now and are the people I went to high school with who I thought were "stupid" for not going to college and they've been working for over 2 years with no college debt and able to begin adult life where I am here still unable to get a job four years later with more debt than I care to think about because not only did I have to pay 20000 to go to school I also had to incure debt to pay to live because I didn't have time to work! In the future I will not be encouraging my children to follow this path I will educate them that college is not the only way out! Did you know barely any of the rich people we associate with ever went to college? I've learned more about life in the three months I've been graduated then I did in the whole four years I was in college and I hope to pass some of this knowledge along rather than others fall in this same hole!

Quote for today

If I wait until I become perfect to love myself, I will waste my whole life. I am already perfect right here and right now

The Time Will Come

"If You don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all"

One day I will be back with something less bitter to say until then I'm taking a sabbatical from the blog..

Tips for Future brides..

Now that most wedding bliss is over and Zach and I have now celebrated our first month being married I thought to give some advice for those brides to be.. And maybe others can learn from this too... 

1) Don't stress( I know so cliche) The day goes by so fast you won't even remember who you talked to.. more less the little details you are worried about.  

2) Don't make your guest wait for you to eat.  MY biggest mistake.. Since the wind destroyed my arch before the ceremony we had to wait and take all pictures after the ceremony forcing our guests to wait an hour in our reception area.. And as soon as we got there most people left because they thought they waited to long for us.. Let them eat and be happy! 

3) Make sure your guests know what you want them to do.. If you want dancing.. TELL THEM.. don't assume music will get them off their butts (I did and it didn't work) 

4) Things will go wrong just know that that will make your day even more special when you can look back and laugh.. Our 1st dance song looped at least three times, we were announced Mr. and Mrs Taylor and I forgot my vows and had to read them...leading me to 5

5) Don't write long sentimental vows. You are standing in front of A LOT of people.  Its an emotional day.  Its hard enough to say a few lines in front of a lot of people(for most people) add crying to the mix.. It's a tough road! 

6) Always have stain remover pen/wipe on hand! You are wearing white you are going to spill something on it! 

7) Before you and your husband move in together define and enforce who will do what (Chores, finances, cooking, etc) Once you get in a routine its hard to change and you don't wanna end up doing everything.  

8) Watch your grooms mother's cooking! He will expect it to be the same... and nothing else will do! 

9) Don't create unreal expectations for the wedding day you will only be disappointed. 

10) and finally Smile! Have fun! You are going to be photographed a lot you wanna look your best in them all so if you're having fun it will show through! 

Reader poll...

Once household chores have been divided up between spouses should one spouse still have to remind other spouse to do their chore?