Thoughts on Parenthood..

With Zach and I about to get married of course the next step comes into mind..BABIES!! Especially the last few days I have the privilege to watch a former boss of mines little baby Gwenivere! This little baby is just the sweetest little thing and I just adore her.. I can't believe I get paid to play with her! She is such a pleasure!!

While babysitting her and following her moms wishes of how she should be cared for I often thing about What am I going to be like as a mother? Will i be this protective? (at this point I should mention I am the ONLY babysitter that Gwenivere has ever had and this week was the longest her and her mother had been apart which was only 3.5 hours!!) Will I be like other moms i know which are hardly moms at all>. How do you learn such things as this cry means this.. this face means that.. I have the privilege of having Gwenivere's mom telling me she cries when she has to use the bathroom(ie change the diaper) and she puts her hands to her mouth when she is hungry and thirsty.. without this prior knowledge I would be trying to feed her when all she wants is her diaper changed!! I have been around very few moms in the past but those I have come across all have very different styles of parenting and I always just think.. Gosh If I were a Mom I wouldn't do that! or How did you know to do that? LIke baby slobber destroys the nutrients on food!! I am learning each day more about parenthood as I read my sister in laws blog and through my babysitting!

 I have to say that I am glad that I have had the opportunity to babysit Gwenivere and Meet Isabelle without meeting those two babies I don't know if I would have ever wanted to have kids! My god daughter was such a challenging baby compared to these two!  It's quite different being able to watch a calm child!! I always think of these things and all the things I learning in my child psy classes when I am with children and babies and wonder was it the parenting.. was it the genetic predisposition.. Could their behavior have been changed with other methods of discipline? With all my knowledge of these things it make me so nervous to become a parent! What if I have a colic baby?!? I find baby crying to be one of the worst noises ever!! Will I be able to develop a secure attachment with my baby? What kind of father will Zach be? With all these questions and no answers and I defiantly not ready to be a mom!! I am so glad that I have the opportunity to spend time with the babies around me with the guidance of the moms current habits and learn what they do that I find works or doesn't so in the future when I am a parent I will have some hands on experience as well as my knowledge from school about child development!!